American Idol, the biggest show on television, returned
for its seventh season with auditions from the city of Philadelphia.
Just like is customary with this stage of the auditions, the bad
singers took the spotlight over the good singers. After seven seasons,
it’s obvious that people have figured out that they don’t have to be a
good singer for Idol to make them famous.

There was somewhat of a Star Wars theme to the episode,
as two contestants showed up dressed up like Princess Leia. Only one
of them was female. Twenty-seven year old Ben Haar from Newark,
Delaware wore a Princess Leia slave girl costume, but before he got a
chance to sing, Paula Abdul said she found his chest hair distracting.
Eager to do anything to extend his TV time, Ben volunteered to wax his
chest hair and come back. A freshly waxed Ben barely got one line out
of his song, before the judges thanked him and sent him on his way.

The second Star Wars fan to take on Princess Leia was
twenty-four year old Christina Tolisano from Enfield, Connecticut.
While she pulled off the costume considerable better than Ben, she met
with a similar fate with the judges. Christina didn’t take her
rejection as well as Ben and ranted over how the judges had passed over
her because she came across as too much of a dork.

However, the strongest piece of “actressing” came from
twenty-three year old Alexis Cohen from Allentown, Pennsylvania.
Alexis sang Grace Slick’s “Somebody To Love.” Simon Cowell said her
performance was possessed, and even though Randy Jackson recommended
Alexis sing in a cover band, all of the judges passed on sending her to
the next round. After Alexis left, Simon Cowell compared her look to
Willam DaFoe, who played the Green Goblin in Spiderman.

Even though Alexis was initially polite to the judges,
she went off on Simon Cowell after leaving. Alexis’ rant included such
memorable lines as “Well, Simon didn’t like me, but he’s a big, fat,
bad word,” “I thank you, I will leave with my dignity,” “I’m going for
actressing,” and “If I could legally moon you, I would.”

Other contestants that got their TV time, but will not
be going to Hollywood included twenty-five year old Alaa Youakeem,
twenty-two year old James Lewis, twenty-two year old Nick Stano,
sixteen year old Sybill White, twenty year old Zhengzong Yu, sixteen
year old Temptress Browne, eighteen year old Mark Hayes, twenty-eight
year old Udgeet “Udi” Sampat, twenty year old Elyse Wojciechowski,
twenty-two year old Teresa Anella, twenty-eight year old Brandi Park,
thirty-nine year old Milo Turk, nineteen year old Pedro Rivera,
twenty-nine year old Shekhinah Bathyehudah, and thirty-two year old
Paul Marturano.

Of course, there were a couple good auditions mixed in
among all the bad auditions. Twenty year old Chris Watson from Dover,
Delaware stood out as having one of the best and most unique voices.
Nineteen year old Joey Catalano also had a great voice and a great
story to go with it. Joey Catalano had recently lost over two-hundred
pounds. The most heart-warming story came from Angela Martin, who has
a daughter with Rett Syndrome. Twenty-six year old Angela said “It’s
not about fame for me. It’s about getting her the best care, the best
therapist, because the doctors told me my baby was never going to walk
or talk, and I’m going to get that for her.”

Also joining Chris, Joey, and Angela in Hollywood were
twenty-six year old Melanie Nyema from Los Angeles, California;
twenty-five year old Junot Joyner from Bowie, Maryland; twenty-three
year old Jose Candlaria from Bayonne, New Jersey; seventeen year old
Jonathan Baines from Smyrna, Delaware; twenty-three year old Kristy Lee
Cook from Selma, Oregon; twenty-eight year old Beth Stalker from Grand
Blanc, Michigan; and twenty-four year old Brooke White from Van Nuys,
California.